The Joy of Domesticity

I came across this New York Times article about South Korean women making videos on the joy of domesticity, mainly cooking and cleaning tasks. It’s not about organizing per se, but it falls at the crossroads between “hygge” and “spark joy,” which is my territory.

There were many similarities between the various videos, but let’s take Vlog that makes you want to clean by Ms. Kim Sang-mi (a.k.a. Haegreendal) as an example. According to the article, she is “one of many South Korean female creators who have carved out a genre of aspirational videos on YouTube that show the simple pleasures of keeping a clean, organized and food-filled home.”

The first thing that I noticed, besides how popular these videos are (often millions of views; 4.85M for the one I linked to above), is the particular aesthetic. Not just the fact that these videos look professionally made, but that they are incredibly soothing. It’s not the domestic aspects; it’s the tone, the unhurried tasks, the casual shuffle of slippered feet, the abundant light, the air, the minimalist and ecofriendly simplicity, the calm and quiet (kids are rarely present for the video, even when they are in the house, and the videos have subtitles instead of voice-overs). The vloggers often remain anonymous, choosing to appear on camera only from behind or in close-ups of their hands or lower limbs. These videos are about slowing down and awakening the senses; the video itself is a form of meditation. The article said that “mundane activities like cooking and cleaning [are] given a cinematic treatment,” which hits the nail on the head.

The pitfall is that these videos reinforce traditional gender roles (but even though specific things like that division of labor don’t work for me, they might still work for someone else, obviously). Moreover, these videos can make it seem like that’s all that the protagonist does all day, and only when you listen closely do you realize that, in Ms. Kim’s case, she had to complete a contract with a tight deadline that day (she’s a freelance illustrator working from home); but that is never shown. She may also be monetizing her online presence, and honestly, good on her if she does.

Even though some videos can sound prescriptive (see The orders for living a wise day), they are never dogmatic. The domesticity is interspersed with nuggets of wisdom, like “Even if you are somebody’s wife and mother, don’t give up on your own happiness.” It seems to present self-care as found in domesticity itself.

I couldn’t help but compare this to videos made by women in North America. There are videos like this one by duo SisLetters, two Korean sisters who live in the U.S., and it does stick to the same genre as above. Other American videos are radically different, though. I started with another vlogger referenced in the article, Ebony Nikita Okeke (a Dominican living in Atlanta). She posts things like Day in the life of a young housewife, twice a week. Her videos are much less professional-looking; she is in front of the camera a lot, giving beauty tips and tutorials in addition to homemaking advice. She is also more into decorating and showing products in a way that feels consumeristic. With her, self-care is luxurious.

I followed up with A day in the life of a stay-at-home wife by Texan Tachae Blunt. Her videos are more descriptive of her day-to-day life instead of having special moments chosen for the camera, and she’s less “in your face” than the Atlanta vlogger but much more so than the South Korean ones.

The one that came the closest was Cynthia Loewen, from Canada, with videos like Planning, Clean with me, Homemaking, though she also discusses femininity and lifestyle. (I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Minimal Mom, Dawn from Minnesota: her videos are more professional and target the same market, but they’re not about domesticity in the same way that the South Korean ones are.)

In all cases, the American videos have a very different tone from the South Korean ones. American vloggers put themselves in the forefront and make videos that aim to be somewhat instructional. They can be very interesting and worth watching, of course, but are never soothing in the way that the South Korean ones are. I’m not even sure what this genre is called, but I’m really enjoying it!

I’ll leave you with a palate cleanser of bloopers for the South Korean-style videos, which seem that much funnier given the seriousness of the finished product!

Minimalism, Marie Kondo, and The Home Edit

My last post was about minimalism, and today I want to elaborate on the relationship between minimalism and Marie Kondo as well as compare it to The Home Edit.

I remember that when Marie Kondo opened her online shop (initially selling household objects and with broader offerings now), many people criticized her for “selling out.” I believe that those critics did not understand her philosophy. You see, the goal of the KonMari Method™ is not to get rid of as many objects as possible, but to mindfully choose which objects to keep.

One of the first steps of a tidying festival is to imagine your ideal lifestyle; this might look different for everyone, and some people will definitely be more comfortable keeping most of their belongings. The thing to keep in mind is that you should be surrounding yourself with only objects that you love (which is where the carefully curated objects in her store come in, if they speak to you). In practice, this means that many people will realize along the way that they had been keeping objects that they did not love or which did not serve them, and so they will discard those objects and end up with much more curated belongings. This can overlap with minimalism, but it is not the case for everyone.

Marie Kondo’s official website maintains that KonMari is not minimalism. That being said, if I go back to Joshua Becker’s definition, minimalism being “the intentional pursuit of the things we value the most and the removal of anything that distracts us,” I feel like Marie Kondo’s philosophy is indeed compatible with minimalism (though, again, not asceticism).

I want to make a quick comparison here to Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin of The Home Edit. To simplify, their method is based on the appeal of a ROYGBV aesthetic as well as, ideally, the purchase of certain objects sold by the organizers (either directly from their website, or through their exclusive collection at the Container Store). It is also premised on having a LOT of backstock – and therefore enough room to store it! Their Netflix show, Get Organized with The Home Edit, was advertising all that product, whereas Tidying Up with Marie Kondo was all about using organizing products you already have on hand. The KonMari reveals were much less spectacular – more down-to-earth, if you will.

Critics also like to talk about the wastefulness of the KonMari Method™, what with all the “discarding,” but again I have to say that I disagree. While there can be a substantial quantity of items donated (those in good condition) and trashed or recycled (expired makeup, papers that are no longer useful, etc.), I would argue that the KonMari Method™ did not create those items. It merely moved them from their temporary, cumbersome place in your home to a more appropriate place – the problem really began when useless objects were manufactured (before they were even purchased!), and this has to do with our consumerist culture. The KonMari Method™ actually encourages mindfully acquiring new objects, thereby reducing the likelihood of buying useless things in the future.

Meanwhile, on the second episode of Get Organized with The Home Edit, Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin were in Rachel Zoe’s closet – which they had ALREADY organized over a year prior and were just touching up – and they dealt with it by… relocating some items to her off-site storage space AND adding storage to the closet. So, certainly not a minimalist approach! I mean, I understand that Rachel Zoe is a fashion designer and needs to keep certain items for reference, but in my opinion, those should be archived in a warehouse or something, not in her personal closet. She’ll need to deal with it at some point, like after the next few seasons’ worth of designs come into her space.

I really enjoyed this Refinery 29 article comparing Marie Kondo and The Home Edit. This quote jumped out at me: “But if Kondo’s method elevates objects in a uniquely Japanese way [based on Shintoism], allowing us to consider and value them, The Home Edit elevates objects in a uniquely American way: by putting them on display. Here, of course, is where the product is necessary. Our many things, from Clorox wipes to designer purses, go on display. Their closets and drawers and pantries become their own sort of shrine to consumption.”

That being said, Marie Kondo will be joining in on the fun! Next month, the Container Store will be launching her line of sustainably sourced products. I can’t wait to see what they look like!

 If you are interested in either method (KonMari or The Home Edit), be sure to get in touch!

Minimalism

As I start my journey into professional organizing, I’ve noticed that there’s a chasm between what the word “minimalism” means and what the general public envisions. I bet some of you are already picturing a monk’s room, devoid of all material possessions. While that may look peaceful to some, it can lack warmth and comfort, not to mention that it is not at all practical for most people! However, I’m here to say that what you’re thinking of is actually asceticism, not minimalism. The Oxford Dictionary defines “asceticism” as “severe self-discipline and avoidance of all forms of indulgence.” That’s not what I preach.

I like the way Joshua Becker, of Becoming Minimalist, defines it: “Minimalism is the intentional pursuit of the things we value the most and the removal of anything that distracts us.” This essentially means that it’s about removing clutter from your life, whether we’re talking about clutter that is physical (my specialty) or not (overloaded schedule, for example). He says that “minimalism isn’t about removing things you love. It’s about removing the things that distract you from the things you love. It’s about living more by owning less.”

You see, removing distractions allows you to focus on what is most important to you. You own your stuff, not the other way around! When you aren’t distracted by clutter taking up your mental bandwidth (what we might call “visual pollution”) or by objects taking up your time (maintaining them, cleaning them, putting them away), you are then able to focus on what you actually want to do.

I’m aware that some people are vehemently opposed to minimalism, because they see it as “just another boring product wealthy people can buy”. However, to me, that’s missing the point. It’s really just criticism of a certain aesthetic that, granted, we see often, but is not minimalism per se. Minimalism will look different for every household, but to me, it always seeks to improve one’s life by simplifying it.

Of course, that’s easier to say when minimalism is a choice, but it’s not pleasant when it is forced upon us. Did you know that over 60% of Americans can’t deal with a $500 emergency? And that was BEFORE 2020 hit!

In Quebec, where I’m from, I often heard the concept of “voluntary simplicity,” which doesn’t seem as widespread in Anglophone culture. It’s essentially about mindfully choosing how we spend our money and being satisfied with less. In an article titled “The Voluntary Simplicity Movement: A multi-national survey analysis in theoretical context” (published in the Journal of Consumer Culture), Samuel Alexander and Simon Ussher say that “the Voluntary Simplicity Movement can be understood broadly as a diverse social movement made up of people who are resisting high consumption lifestyles and who are seeking, in various ways, a lower consumption but higher quality of life alternative.”

In my line of work, I’ve seen that the initial effort (decluttering, organizing, and changing habits) is time-consuming, but the rewards are reaped later and are well worth it. Don’t let people scare you with tiny living and drastically down-sizing, because that’s not at all necessary! Simple living is the way to go.

If you want to read more on the subject, in addition to Becoming Minimalist, I also recommend Be More with Less. That blog is run by Courtney Carver, who created the fashion challenge Project 333, which I believe was the original capsule wardrobe. If videos are more your thing, there’s the lovely Minimal Mom on YouTube. And let’s not forget Minimalist Baker, whose food blog has recipes call for 10 ingredients or fewer, 1 bowl only, or 30 minutes or less to prepare.

As always, I’m available to answer your questions on the topic!