Hanson on packing for a tour

[I got to speak to Taylor and Zac Hanson (yes, that Hanson!), about how they pack for extended trips such as a tour. For background on how this “interview” from October 25th, 2024, came to be, please check out this post. Note that answers have been edited for brevity, but remain true to the spirit of what was said.]

taylor, zac, and isaac hanson, on stage in finland; Image from hanson.net

Amélie: I am a professional home organizer certified by Marie Kondo. My husband and I are from Montreal, QC and now live in San Antonio, TX. We typically drive up for the summer, so I know firsthand that packing for four days or two weeks is completely different than packing for two months! What are some packing tips you have for long trips – some things that you bring with you or do for yourself that spark joy?

Taylor Hanson: One of the gifts of travel is that it removes options and forces you to get down to the essentials. It can be stressful at times because you don’t have all the things that you like, but you have to ask yourself what you actually need. And in some ways, it’s comparable to what Marie Kondo tries to do, which is to minimize and to get rid of the things you don’t use and that become clutter. So, in one sense, it’s one of the greatest ways to force yourself to get organized because you don’t have the option, you just can’t take everything.

There are two big categories of things that I bring: show stuff [instruments, equipment, etc.] and non-show stuff [personal items]; there’s work and play. You have to bring a laptop and phone, because technology is so present these days. Zac brings video games, everyone knows that. I always have my camera, and some drawing and art supplies. I also force myself to bring an iPad loaded with books and movies (which then take up so much less space). Having something to draw with and something to read is my outlet. You need a go-to brain release thing! But touring is its own unique, bizarre thing that most people never get to experience; it’s like the circus, and you put up a tent in every city.

Force yourself to start with what’s essential; the peripheral stuff comes last. That’s my answer.

Zac Hanson: There’s a reality to how much weight you can carry. I learned years ago that you really can’t take with you more than two weeks’ worth of clothing. I’ve got four [packing cubes]: one for shirts, one for pants, underwear, exercise clothes… And once those are full, that’s all that can go! And I don’t stress over it. My wife asks how it is that I can pack for a two-month tour in 12 minutes! [Laughs] It’s just a question of whether I want to bring brown shirts or gray shirts, but it’s going to be the same number.

On tour, the biggest thing that you don’t realize is that you have very little personal space or time. Overpacking is when you bring everything you think you’re going to do, but really, you only need things that will give you a little bit of peace and a little bit of mental privacy. For me, that’s always been video games, which bring you into another world and are relatively small. So even if I’m sitting next to Taylor, I’m in my little private space for an hour or however long I have. And I think books can be the same way.

You have to prioritize; you can’t do as much as you think you’re going to do, so focus on those one or two things to help you relax.

Taylor: Bring the things that give you peace and that spark joy. Also, for me, the love of food, the love of place, and discovery, is a huge part of the balance of not being able to have your stuff or a room full of your favorite whatevers. You need to appreciate what is unique and the opposite of your safe space at home, so enjoy being present in the moment when you travel.

Zac: Bring with you what you really want to do, not everything you could do. Don’t bring with you what you don’t want to find yourself doing.

Dr. Paul Conti, Marie Kondo, and happiness

A colleague mentioned Dr. Paul Conti recently. As a psychiatrist, Dr. Conti emphasizes that a key component of happiness is the balance between agency and gratitude. He suggests that when individuals have a sense of agency, i.e. the ability to make choices and take meaningful actions in their lives, paired with a practice of gratitude for the positive aspects of their experiences, it can lead to increased levels of happiness and well-being.

Dr. Paul Conti; Image from Pacific Premir Group, PC

It struck me that this is basically the KonMari Method™! Marie Kondo encourages us to intentionally shape our own lives, make decisions that align with our values, and take control of our circumstances. This sense of control and autonomy can contribute to a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It isn’t just about decluttering – sure, we should only keep objects that spark joy, but this is all in pursuit of kurashi, or ideal lifestyle. Curating our homes can help curate the life we want to lead.

Marie Kondo; Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

Additionally, practicing gratitude involves acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life (including objects, at least in Shintoism), even in the midst of challenges or difficulties. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude, or even mindfulness, can help individuals focus on what they have rather than what they lack, fostering a sense of contentment and happiness. I also love looking for glimmers, or small moments to appreciate.

Overall, Dr. Paul Conti's work, as well as Marie Kondo’s, emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between taking action to create the life you desire (agency) and recognizing and appreciating the good things that already exist in your life (gratitude). Both are key ingredients for experiencing happiness and well-being.

Conclusion

This post is part of a series on my trip to Japan.

Japan is beautiful, culturally rich (I mean, they have Shintoism, samurais, and Hello Kitty?), very safe, and has great public transit; it’s much more affordable than I thought; the people are very nice and helpful with tourists. I loved visiting all those temples and speaking with monks!

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

In Marie Kondo’s own words about our retreat, “these experiences may provide you with a new perspective to understand the ‘why’ behind the KonMari Method.” And I feel like that is true! It goes beyond just noticing glimmers and appreciating the moment – living a life with kurashi means intentionally building your life around what you want. You don’t just appreciate the smell of coffee, you actively make a ritual out of preparing your morning cup, every day.

Kurashi roughly translates to “way of life” or “lifestyle” and is an integral part of the KonMari® Method. Yes, a Certified KonMari® Consultant can certainly help you tidy your home, but it’s more than that, it’s helping you achieve your ideal lifestyle.  For example, my most recent tidying festival client wanted a comfortable spot to sit and read. She did have a comfortable chair, but it was covered in clothes, and there were piles of stuff all around it, making it inaccessible. I helped her pare back on the clothes so that everything fit on hangers or in drawers, and we decluttered the floor and the rest of the room. Now, she has much more empty space – not because she didn’t like her stuff, but because her stuff was getting in the way of the life she wanted!

It's also been pointed out to us by Tiffany Gozali, the Director of the Consultant Program, that how we feel about monks is how our clients feel about their KonMari® Consultant. You see, we had the opportunity to speak with several Buddhist monks during this trip, and many in our group, myself included, felt drawn to them and wanted to spend more time with them. Was it their energy? Some sort of impalpable aura? The interesting conversations? The fact that they seem to have it all figured out, like they have reached enlightenment? And that is how many people feel the same way about their KonMari® consultant! That is what we represent to clients who are beginning their tidying journey. I hadn’t seen it that way up until then, but it makes some sense! Let me know what you think in the comments.

Seminar

This post is part of a series on my trip to Japan.

The last highlight of my trip to Japan was the exclusive weekend seminar, during which we got to meet Marie Kondo herself! I’m obviously not allowed to discuss the contents of the presentations we attended, but one thing I will note is how Marie Kondo said that when she gives a speech, there are often moments when she purposely “makes silence”, and Western orators aren’t used to that. It was possibly a language issue, she might have meant that she is silent, but the way it came out was very on point – she consciously makes silence occasionally, to feel the room and appreciate the moment. This is useful in so many other contexts!

The first morning was limited to the two-dozen-or-so attendees from KonMari International (that’s us!), and we had presentations by Marie Kondo, Takumi Kawahara (her husband), and Narimasa Kasuya (who works for KonMari). After lunch, we were joined by consultants from KonMari Japan, and it was really fun talking with them and getting to know them! We talked about the differences in the way we conduct sessions, then had a calligraphy lesson. The KMJ Consultants were very helpful to us KMI Consultants who had no experience with traditional Japanese calligraphy! Marie Kondo joined us toward the end to calligraph 喜 (ki), the character meaning “joy”; we got to calligraph that one on a nice piece of cardboard to take home.

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

We then had photo opportunities, and I got my copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up signed. We then headed to a dinner/mixer with the local consultants. Where I am an introvert, Marie Kondo is a super-introvert – she basically came in the room, said hi, did her thing, said goodbye, and left, because that was all the people-ing she could handle. Meanwhile, Takumi is an extrovert, a very friendly guy, and he actually had a beer with us that evening. Something else that stood out to me was that even the Japanese consultants said that to them, Marie Kondo is kawaii – cute!

The second day was again restricted to KMIs; we had two more seminars about running the business side of things, then round-robin table talks to recap what we had learned and take it further. Marie Kondo and Takumi Kawahara joined us for these, which we hadn’t expected. I ended up sitting right nest to Marie Kondo for one of those talks, and I’m glad to report that even though I was not my most eloquent self, at least I did not pass out, so there’s that.

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

At the end of the day, Marie Kondo surprised us again by asking us to play a game of janken, or rock-paper-scissors, saying that the winner would get a prize. From where I was sitting, I could see what the prize was – her calligraphed “joy” character! We all stood up (she, on a chair), and whenever someone was eliminated, they sat down. My first two plays were lucky guesses, but they strategy kicked in. In the end, it was me against my new friend Jenna Carlsson, and… I won! I now have that Marie Kondo original framed in my office, where I look at it every day, and it does bring me joy.

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

Our last evening together was spent having a celebratory dinner on a yakatabune, or restaurant boat, that took us around the harbor so that we did some sightseeing in addition to eating several courses again. It was a great way to cap off the retreat and seminar.

Ise-Shima

This post is part of a series on my trip to Japan.

DAY 3

We took the train to Ise-Shima, and from the train station, a private bus the rest of the way. We had a beautiful lunch at Ise Todaya Ryoan, which we found out upon leaving had a Michelin star!

We first visited a netsuke shop. A netsuke is a small wooden object to which a purse string is tied, and it allows the purse to be fastened to a kimono belt (kimonos don’t have pockets). Netsukes can take any shape, and it takes anywhere between a day and a few weeks to carve one, depending on how intricate you want it to be. There was an apprentice there who had been learning for 6 months, on a government grant. The top netsuke carver was truly a master of his craft!

Our second stop was to Futami Okitama Shrine. It is famous for a pair of rocks said to be the Wedded Rocks. The rope stretching between the rocks represents a gateway, and the whole thing faces East, so that in summer, the sun rises between the rocks. This location is also a traditional purification stop before visiting Ise Shrine, which was our next destination. There are a lot of frog statues because the frog is the deity of safe travels – it was meant to bring the sailors home safely. We did get a bit of free time in the gift shop, where I got one of those fish pedicures (the sensation of the fish nibbling at my feet was delightful!) and bought a few treats (Japan has wonderful delicacies).

We then went to Ise Shrine (Geku, or outer perimeter). It is dedicated to Amaterasu, the sun goddess as well as the ancestor of the imperial family, and is one of the most important shrines in Japan. The entire Ise Shrine contains something like 88,000 temples and 78,000 shrines, along with thousand-year-old trees!

Most of the structures there are torn down and rebuilt every 20 years. This makes for a clean slate, getting rid of impurities and starting anew. It also allows the training of apprentices, who then can practice their craft while the masters are still there to hand down their knowledge. (Most of these temples are made without a single nail, essentially functioning as giant wooden jigsaw puzzles.)

Finally, we checked in to our ryokan, the beautiful Kashikojima Hojoen, where we were served a very elaborate kaiseki ryori dinner. One of the dishes was a live abalone – to be fair, it was cooked right at the table before it was deemed ready to eat, but I don’t like seafood to begin with, so I left that one dish alone. I turned in right after that because we had a very early start the next day! (Honestly, I wanted to go to the onsen, but swimming in the nude was just a touch too far out of my comfort zone.)

DAY 4

We left the ryokan at 6am and had breakfast on the bus. Our first stop was the inner Ise Shrine (Naiku), which is of particular significance for Marie Kondo and her husband, Takumi Kawahara, who pray there to seek guidance for important life decisions and events. And who surprised us at the entrance? The couple themselves! We took some time to thank them for arranging this tour and we took some group shots.

We then visited the shrine, which is in a beautiful setting. We were also invited to watch a special dance performed by the miko and geki (female shrine maidens and their male counterparts) as they presented offerings to the deity. We also got to talk with a local monk, who explained that in Shintoism, there is no one god because everything is god. A rock, a cloud, a blade of grass, a person, all are deities and considered equal. The monks are also open to anyone, people of all faiths, visiting their shrines and temples.

There are about 700 monks who works there. One constant task is the preparing, and 6-times-daily-delivering, of food offerings to the deity.

Then, a monk performed a goma ceremony on the riverside for us – it is meant to dispel negative energy and detrimental thoughts. The monk burns wood to heat up dry grains of rice in a barrel-like contraption, and once they get hot enough, the escaping steam creates a sound as it escapes. We each got to take home some of the rice afterward!

Finally, we had some free time for lunch (local specialties include soft udon noodles, Matsusaka beef, and a pastry with mochi on the inside and red bean paste on the outside – the reverse of what I am used to!) as well as shopping (seriously, lots of wonderful artisans in the area!). We then made our way to the train station, from which we went to Nagoya and took the Shinkansen to Tokyo. I made sure to sit on the left side so that I could get a good look at Mount Fuji! We made it to our hotel in the early evening.

Kyoto

This post is part of a series on my trip to Japan.

 Getting to Japan from San Antonio was a little less complicated than I thought, since there is a direct flight from Dallas to Tokyo, so I “only” had a total of three flights. During my last layover (in Tokyo), I met up with two more KonMari Consultants, and we flew together to Osaka, from where we took the bus to Kyoto and, finally, a taxi to our hotel. I said a quick hello to my roommate, took a shower, and went straight to bed!

DAY 1

Tuesday morning (May 21st), we met with our wonderful guide, Aki-san, who explained that Kyoto was the capital of Japan for about 1,000 years and is still considered the cultural capital of the country. Our first stop was Kinkaku-ji Temple, whose main pavilion is covered in gold leaf.

We then had a private vegetarian lunch prepared by monks at Sennyu-ji Temple. This was our first traditional Japanese meal, with lots of little dishes arranged in a bento box, and it was a great experience! We were encouraged to eat mindfully, focusing on our food, its taste and texture, rather than getting distracted by each other. After lunch, we had some fascinating conversations with Kenmei, a very personable white Esoteric Buddhist monk originally from Florida.

For those who are curious, Kenmei’s journey to Buddhism started when he was in the 8th grade, and another kid at his school self-immolated in front of him. This traumatic event opened his eyes to what other people are going through – to this other kid, the flames must have been less painful than what he was going through. From there, Kenmei started reading up on various life philosophies, from Stoicism to Buddhism, and ended up at his local Buddhist community center. Eventually, they gave him a scholarship to their university in Taiwan, and then based on his beliefs, he was assigned to an Esoteric Buddhist shrine in Japan. Since Sennyu-ji Temple hosts members of the imperial family as well as ambassadors and various dignitaries, they decided that it would be helpful to have “the white monk” who speaks English, so much like in a sports team, he was traded for two of their monks!

He now translates ancient texts from Sanskrit into English, to help pave the way for other Western monks. He once meditated for 4 days straight (and his master for 7!), which shows mastery over oneself. When he first started training as a monk, he would go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 2am to start his day. (At this point, thanks to jet lag, I was indeed sleeping like a monk myself!) He has a cell phone, which he uses to text other monks within the monastery and to keep in touch with his family – he even has an Instagram account.

Kenmei gave us a tour of the temple, including the 400-year-old garden in which they meditate by moonlight. (Even if the moon is not visible in the sky on a given month, its reflection will be visible in the pond of the garden.) He emphasized interconnectedness, trying to understand where other people are coming from, and having love and compassion for all beings. All of this gives us purpose.

We then went to Fushimi Inari Shrine, which is specifically dedicated to the cultivation of rice, but is now generally worshipped for a plentiful harvest and success in business. There are fox statues everywhere, because foxes helped keep the mouse population down, which in turn protected the rice harvest. This place is known for its senbon torii, or thousand vermillion red gates. It’s a shade I would call deep orange, meant to ward off evil.

Torii gates symbolize the passage from our everyday world to the divine world on the other side. You must enter them on the left or right, because only deities walk down the center, and you bow before stepping through. You can make wishes with the intention for them to pass through the gates, or leave some inscribed on pieces of wood at the shrine itself. You can also write down thoughts you want to let go of on pieces of paper and leave them to be burnt at the shrine.

Our second-to-last stop of the day was the Komyo-in Temple, where we split into two groups. First, my group spoke with a Buddhist monk, who taught us zazen meditation, in which you keep your eyes half open. The setting was a tatami room next to a beautiful garden. The monk told us to simply accept the background noise. Don’t look for perfect silence – if you hear a bird or a chainsaw or a tourist yelling, it just is; let it go.

Then we went to an adjacent room for a tea ceremony, in which matcha tea was expertly prepared, one cup at a time. Since matcha is bitter, it was served with a sweet chocolate mochi pastry. Yoshie, the woman leading the ceremony and preparing the tea one serving at a time, is an expert at her craft, and was very much in the moment, taking her time and focusing all of her attention on her task. You could tell she really loved transmitting her culture to us!

We started talking about the phrase ichi-go, ichi-e, which means “one time, one meeting”. This moment is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and will never happen again, so we must appreciate it for what it is. This is true of most gatherings, really – even if you manage to get the same people together again in the same location, it will be different.

We then regrouped to talk with the landscaper who had designed the garden, Makoto Kitazawa; he is already such an expert at the age of 26, having apprenticed since the age of 15. He even dreams that he is a rock! He will be working on a garden in Los Angeles later this year.

Finally, we had a multi-course dinner in the Gion district, during which an 83-year-old geisha serenaded us for 20 minutes. We also saw a geisha outdoors, and the contrast between her traditional garb and her smartphone was jarring to me! Geishas start training at 15 years old (miko) and become geiko (“real” geishas) at 20; the oldest geisha is currently 92 years old.

DAY 2

We started with a personalized tour of Kiyomizu-dera, starting in a room where President Obama was once received. The temple is on Mount Otowa, so it has beautiful views of Kyoto. Our tour guide, Eigen Onishi, is a third-generation monk who was born right in that temple (though he took a detour to the States for a few years before making his way back to Japan and, eventually, the temple).

We were given sweet rice crackers and tea made with holy water, then we got to see an amazing room that is not generally open to the public. It is about three stories tall, built with an open well in the front and a platform near the top at the back (where we were). The walls are covered with over 4,000 carvings of Buddha, and the bottom floor has a design of his footprints as well as an altar. We dropped paper petals to represent our wishes, and it was magical to see them cascade to the ground below and scatter on the altar and footprints. We moved on to a short meditation in a beautiful garden.

The monk talked about how we perceive time. As we age, the space that our past occupies gets bigger and the future comes at us more quickly. You’ve noticed how years go by more quickly then when you were younger, right? Being in the moment helps us not worry too much about either the past or the future. However, the best preparation for the future is to use our past experience to make our potential future bigger, which then squeezes the present moment into a smaller portion. (Obviously I haven’t mastered that part. I’m all about learning from our experiences and making choices that will bring us closer to our ideal lifestyle. I feel satisfied with that.) He also used the expression tadaima, which literally translates to “right now” but which to him means “I am here, in peaceful harmony with another, in the moment.”

If there are two things that the monk wanted us to take away from this encounter, it is that 1) nothing is independent (meaning that we are all interconnected), and 2) nothing is permanent (this too shall pass, the good as the bad). Take the example of a delicious meal – we can, and should, enjoy it, but we will inevitably be hungry again the next day. Also, the meal cannot happen on its own; not only is it better enjoyed with others, but you need everyone working together to grow, harvest, transport, and prepare the food. Even though everything is impermanent, we can cherish moments and bring them to mind again in the future.

We then visited the temple itself, which is built on a high platform overlooking a natural spring. (Thanks to Duolingo, I knew that “mizu” meant water, and it turns out that “kiyo” means pure.) The platform is 12 meters high, and in the Edo period, people would jump from it to prove their faith – if they survived, it was because their inner Buddha had saved them (though it should be said that there are a lot of trees below as well!). Apparently, 85% of people who jumped survived. It gave birth to a common expression in Japanese, “to jump off the stage at Kiyomizu” which means to take the plunge or take a risk. Fun fact: Ryokei Wajo, the previous master monk who oversaw the recent restoration of the temple, lived to be109 years old!

We went into the main hall to see the naijin, or inner sanctuary, from which we could see the statues in the nainaijin, or innermost sanctuary. There is a box there that is opened only every 33 years. The temple is dedicated to Kannon, a deity that can appear in 33 different forms and can answer any prayer; the name comes from kan (subjectivity) and non (objectivity).

We had some free time for lunch, which allowed us to do some souvenir shopping as well. We then made a quick pit stop at the hotel and got on a private bus to Nara. Our visit there started with more free time, which we obviously spent with the local deer! They come down from the mountain each day and hang out in the park, waiting for tourists to feed them. They have learned to bow to people, which usually gets them food because people think it’s adorable!

The highlight in Nara was our visit to Todai-ji Temple, which has the tallest bronze Buddha statue in the world (15 meters and 50 tons). Each curl of his hair was the size of a human head, and each finger was 1 meter long. The base was built roughly 800 years ago; the body, about 400 years ago; and the head, about 200 years ago (the original versions were destroyed in fires). The temple itself is huge, and has enough building material to make 3,000 houses! We got the VIP treatment and got to go up close to the statue (no photos allowed), and the monk who was guiding us was so pleased with how attentive we were that he invited us to touch the base of the statue! It is shaped like a lotus, because that beautiful flower blooms out of mud. This symbolizes that Buddha can help you bloom despite your impurities.

This monk loved telling stories, like the allegory of the long spoons (but with long chopsticks), to symbolize that the world is a better place when we all take care of one another. He also told us a story of how a family’s dog died – the little boy was very sad to lose him; the father was angry because he thought the dog breeder had concealed some defect; and the neighbor was relieved that he would no longer hear barking. The point was that every reaction has merit and is right; the important thing is to understand where others are coming from and to accept them (interestingly, understanding was more important than empathy here).

In essence, Shintoism is the act of accepting nature; Buddhism is changing one’s mindset so as to minimize suffering and reach contentment (rather than happiness). So Buddhism is really living with oneself. That being said, we are not living alone; we are at the mercy of all living things. Shintoism is a way of life, while Buddhism is a faith (because of Buddha).

We had dinner at the hotel that night and prepared for departure the next day.

KonMari Retreat and Seminar 2024 (Japan)

I just came back from an amazing trip to Japan which was mostly business and, also, all pleasure. The first four days were a retreat during which we visited various sites in Japan to learn about the cultural foundations of the KonMari® Method. We then had two days of seminar in Tokyo, during which we met Marie Kondo. I followed that up with two days on my own, to visit Kamakura and Tokyo.

Would it sound trite to say this trip was life-changing? I mean, not only were we immersed in Japan, learning about history, culture, religion, and food, but we also formed new friendships with other consultants from all over the world! We had such good camaraderie that when a monk asked us how often we get together like this, he was blown away to learn that we had only met 24 hours prior! Then we talked shop, but also got to meet Marie Kondo herself on a few occasions, which was very exciting.

I’ve decided I will break up the retelling of this trip into a few posts, and within each, I will highlight certain themes that are relevant to the KonMari® Method. I hate the word “bespoke” but that is really what this trip was! I mean, how often do you have a tour guide thank you for allowing her to visit places to which even she had never been allowed access before? And monks thank you for being so open and attentive by letting you touch a Buddha statue that is hundreds of years old and which most people can’t even approach? This was a trip that had 2 or 3 highlights each DAY, as opposed to 2 or 3 over the whole trip!

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

Thanks to the team at KonMari, especially Takumi Kawahara (Marie Kondo’s husband and cofounder of KonMari Media, along with Kazuma Yamauchi and Marie herself), who seemed to be friends with all the monks and very well connected in general – many of the special access we got was thanks to him.

As I mentioned, we were about 20 consultants who have now bonded over these new experiences. These are genuinely good people, and if you want recommendations for KonMari® Consultants in, say, Boise or Seattle or the Bay Area, or in Japan, I now have solid referrals for you!

The posts are divided into Kyoto, Ise-Shima, the seminar in Tokyo, and a short conclusion. The reason I am going into such detail is simply that I have both colleagues and clients who have expressed a lot of interest in this trip, so this seems like the most efficient way to regale them with details! Where it was relevant, I highlighted passages that are applicable to our mindset as we organize. Let me also quote Eigen Onishi, one of the monks we met: “I have no intention whatsoever of preaching any doctrines during this special tour. I only wish to share with my guests some things that I have personally learned or realized. And if it could lift their spirits a little, or if it could quell an irritable mood that they were in, then that would be more than enough. So, I don’t have any kinds of guests whom I wish to invite, but I want many kinds of people to come and think that it is worth visiting.”

If you want to find out which are the truths and which is the lie, read on: Part 1 – Kyoto; Part 2 – Ise-Shima; Part 3 – Seminar; Conclusion.

Marie Kondo has no time to tidy

I’ve been hearing a lot in the past week or two about Marie Kondo and how she no longer has time to tidy now that she has three kids. However, the way most people seem to be reacting (with glee or a “gotcha!” attitude almost like schadenfreude) makes me feel like they never understood what she was about in the first place.

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

To give you some context, this came about after the publication of her latest book, Kurashi at Home, which is all about achieving one’s ideal lifestyle. Let me quote a recent Washington Post article:

“Kondo says her life underwent a huge change after she had her third child, and external tidying has taken a back seat to the business of life. ‘My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life,’ she said through an interpreter at a recent media webinar and virtual tea ceremony. […] Kondo says that, for many, the perfectly organized space is not realistic. ‘Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times,’ she said at the event. ‘I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.’”

You see, while the media and general public has long focused on the decluttering part of her message, Marie Kondo does not consider herself a minimalist. As a matter of fact, the second rule of the KonMari Method® is to imagine your ideal lifestyle. This means that before even getting rid of anything, Marie Kondo suggest that we identify exactly what we want to move towards, then make room for that not just in our space, but in our life as well.

There’s an added difficulty here because of the English translation of her first book – The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. To me, “tidying” is something that you do before someone comes over for dinner, by putting things back in their place. But in this context, tidying was opposed to cleaning, meaning that cleaning confronts us to nature (things get dirty and must be cleaned), whereas in tidying, we are confronted to ourselves (why do I own all these things in the first place?). This is the premise of the Tidying Festival, in which we assess all our belongings. And it is NOT the same thing as “being tidy” in the sense that our environment is not messy!

So, all this to say that Marie Kondo has gone through a major life transition in becoming a mother. Her priorities have shifted, and she is still leading her ideal life – it’s just that now, she wants to spend her time caring for her children instead of tidying up, and that’s normal. If anything, she’s staying true to her core philosophy of following her ideal lifestyle. I mean, this is someone who, when she was single, would clean out her purse entirely each evening. To which I say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” And now that she has other responsibilities, she agrees.

It is also during major life transitions that most people hire professional organizers and other outside help. Many of my clients are parents to young children, have recently moved, or were widowed, and that’s when they just get overwhelmed because they don’t have as much time or energy to put into creating the physical environment they want. Priorities shift, needs change, and that’s normal.

Minimalism, Marie Kondo, and The Home Edit

My last post was about minimalism, and today I want to elaborate on the relationship between minimalism and Marie Kondo as well as compare it to The Home Edit.

I remember that when Marie Kondo opened her online shop (initially selling household objects and with broader offerings now), many people criticized her for “selling out.” I believe that those critics did not understand her philosophy. You see, the goal of the KonMari Method™ is not to get rid of as many objects as possible, but to mindfully choose which objects to keep.

One of the first steps of a tidying festival is to imagine your ideal lifestyle; this might look different for everyone, and some people will definitely be more comfortable keeping most of their belongings. The thing to keep in mind is that you should be surrounding yourself with only objects that you love (which is where the carefully curated objects in her store come in, if they speak to you). In practice, this means that many people will realize along the way that they had been keeping objects that they did not love or which did not serve them, and so they will discard those objects and end up with much more curated belongings. This can overlap with minimalism, but it is not the case for everyone.

Marie Kondo’s official website maintains that KonMari is not minimalism. That being said, if I go back to Joshua Becker’s definition, minimalism being “the intentional pursuit of the things we value the most and the removal of anything that distracts us,” I feel like Marie Kondo’s philosophy is indeed compatible with minimalism (though, again, not asceticism).

I want to make a quick comparison here to Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin of The Home Edit. To simplify, their method is based on the appeal of a ROYGBV aesthetic as well as, ideally, the purchase of certain objects sold by the organizers (either directly from their website, or through their exclusive collection at the Container Store). It is also premised on having a LOT of backstock – and therefore enough room to store it! Their Netflix show, Get Organized with The Home Edit, was advertising all that product, whereas Tidying Up with Marie Kondo was all about using organizing products you already have on hand. The KonMari reveals were much less spectacular – more down-to-earth, if you will.

Critics also like to talk about the wastefulness of the KonMari Method™, what with all the “discarding,” but again I have to say that I disagree. While there can be a substantial quantity of items donated (those in good condition) and trashed or recycled (expired makeup, papers that are no longer useful, etc.), I would argue that the KonMari Method™ did not create those items. It merely moved them from their temporary, cumbersome place in your home to a more appropriate place – the problem really began when useless objects were manufactured (before they were even purchased!), and this has to do with our consumerist culture. The KonMari Method™ actually encourages mindfully acquiring new objects, thereby reducing the likelihood of buying useless things in the future.

Meanwhile, on the second episode of Get Organized with The Home Edit, Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin were in Rachel Zoe’s closet – which they had ALREADY organized over a year prior and were just touching up – and they dealt with it by… relocating some items to her off-site storage space AND adding storage to the closet. So, certainly not a minimalist approach! I mean, I understand that Rachel Zoe is a fashion designer and needs to keep certain items for reference, but in my opinion, those should be archived in a warehouse or something, not in her personal closet. She’ll need to deal with it at some point, like after the next few seasons’ worth of designs come into her space.

I really enjoyed this Refinery 29 article comparing Marie Kondo and The Home Edit. This quote jumped out at me: “But if Kondo’s method elevates objects in a uniquely Japanese way [based on Shintoism], allowing us to consider and value them, The Home Edit elevates objects in a uniquely American way: by putting them on display. Here, of course, is where the product is necessary. Our many things, from Clorox wipes to designer purses, go on display. Their closets and drawers and pantries become their own sort of shrine to consumption.”

That being said, Marie Kondo will be joining in on the fun! Next month, the Container Store will be launching her line of sustainably sourced products. I can’t wait to see what they look like!

 If you are interested in either method (KonMari or The Home Edit), be sure to get in touch!