Marie Kondo has no time to tidy

I’ve been hearing a lot in the past week or two about Marie Kondo and how she no longer has time to tidy now that she has three kids. However, the way most people seem to be reacting (with glee or a “gotcha!” attitude almost like schadenfreude) makes me feel like they never understood what she was about in the first place.

Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

To give you some context, this came about after the publication of her latest book, Kurashi at Home, which is all about achieving one’s ideal lifestyle. Let me quote a recent Washington Post article:

“Kondo says her life underwent a huge change after she had her third child, and external tidying has taken a back seat to the business of life. ‘My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life,’ she said through an interpreter at a recent media webinar and virtual tea ceremony. […] Kondo says that, for many, the perfectly organized space is not realistic. ‘Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times,’ she said at the event. ‘I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.’”

You see, while the media and general public has long focused on the decluttering part of her message, Marie Kondo does not consider herself a minimalist. As a matter of fact, the second rule of the KonMari Method® is to imagine your ideal lifestyle. This means that before even getting rid of anything, Marie Kondo suggest that we identify exactly what we want to move towards, then make room for that not just in our space, but in our life as well.

There’s an added difficulty here because of the English translation of her first book – The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. To me, “tidying” is something that you do before someone comes over for dinner, by putting things back in their place. But in this context, tidying was opposed to cleaning, meaning that cleaning confronts us to nature (things get dirty and must be cleaned), whereas in tidying, we are confronted to ourselves (why do I own all these things in the first place?). This is the premise of the Tidying Festival, in which we assess all our belongings. And it is NOT the same thing as “being tidy” in the sense that our environment is not messy!

So, all this to say that Marie Kondo has gone through a major life transition in becoming a mother. Her priorities have shifted, and she is still leading her ideal life – it’s just that now, she wants to spend her time caring for her children instead of tidying up, and that’s normal. If anything, she’s staying true to her core philosophy of following her ideal lifestyle. I mean, this is someone who, when she was single, would clean out her purse entirely each evening. To which I say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” And now that she has other responsibilities, she agrees.

It is also during major life transitions that most people hire professional organizers and other outside help. Many of my clients are parents to young children, have recently moved, or were widowed, and that’s when they just get overwhelmed because they don’t have as much time or energy to put into creating the physical environment they want. Priorities shift, needs change, and that’s normal.

Minimalism, Marie Kondo, and The Home Edit

My last post was about minimalism, and today I want to elaborate on the relationship between minimalism and Marie Kondo as well as compare it to The Home Edit.

I remember that when Marie Kondo opened her online shop (initially selling household objects and with broader offerings now), many people criticized her for “selling out.” I believe that those critics did not understand her philosophy. You see, the goal of the KonMari Method™ is not to get rid of as many objects as possible, but to mindfully choose which objects to keep.

One of the first steps of a tidying festival is to imagine your ideal lifestyle; this might look different for everyone, and some people will definitely be more comfortable keeping most of their belongings. The thing to keep in mind is that you should be surrounding yourself with only objects that you love (which is where the carefully curated objects in her store come in, if they speak to you). In practice, this means that many people will realize along the way that they had been keeping objects that they did not love or which did not serve them, and so they will discard those objects and end up with much more curated belongings. This can overlap with minimalism, but it is not the case for everyone.

Marie Kondo’s official website maintains that KonMari is not minimalism. That being said, if I go back to Joshua Becker’s definition, minimalism being “the intentional pursuit of the things we value the most and the removal of anything that distracts us,” I feel like Marie Kondo’s philosophy is indeed compatible with minimalism (though, again, not asceticism).

I want to make a quick comparison here to Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin of The Home Edit. To simplify, their method is based on the appeal of a ROYGBV aesthetic as well as, ideally, the purchase of certain objects sold by the organizers (either directly from their website, or through their exclusive collection at the Container Store). It is also premised on having a LOT of backstock – and therefore enough room to store it! Their Netflix show, Get Organized with The Home Edit, was advertising all that product, whereas Tidying Up with Marie Kondo was all about using organizing products you already have on hand. The KonMari reveals were much less spectacular – more down-to-earth, if you will.

Critics also like to talk about the wastefulness of the KonMari Method™, what with all the “discarding,” but again I have to say that I disagree. While there can be a substantial quantity of items donated (those in good condition) and trashed or recycled (expired makeup, papers that are no longer useful, etc.), I would argue that the KonMari Method™ did not create those items. It merely moved them from their temporary, cumbersome place in your home to a more appropriate place – the problem really began when useless objects were manufactured (before they were even purchased!), and this has to do with our consumerist culture. The KonMari Method™ actually encourages mindfully acquiring new objects, thereby reducing the likelihood of buying useless things in the future.

Meanwhile, on the second episode of Get Organized with The Home Edit, Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin were in Rachel Zoe’s closet – which they had ALREADY organized over a year prior and were just touching up – and they dealt with it by… relocating some items to her off-site storage space AND adding storage to the closet. So, certainly not a minimalist approach! I mean, I understand that Rachel Zoe is a fashion designer and needs to keep certain items for reference, but in my opinion, those should be archived in a warehouse or something, not in her personal closet. She’ll need to deal with it at some point, like after the next few seasons’ worth of designs come into her space.

I really enjoyed this Refinery 29 article comparing Marie Kondo and The Home Edit. This quote jumped out at me: “But if Kondo’s method elevates objects in a uniquely Japanese way [based on Shintoism], allowing us to consider and value them, The Home Edit elevates objects in a uniquely American way: by putting them on display. Here, of course, is where the product is necessary. Our many things, from Clorox wipes to designer purses, go on display. Their closets and drawers and pantries become their own sort of shrine to consumption.”

That being said, Marie Kondo will be joining in on the fun! Next month, the Container Store will be launching her line of sustainably sourced products. I can’t wait to see what they look like!

 If you are interested in either method (KonMari or The Home Edit), be sure to get in touch!