Dr. Paul Conti, Marie Kondo, and happiness

A colleague mentioned Dr. Paul Conti recently. As a psychiatrist, Dr. Conti emphasizes that a key component of happiness is the balance between agency and gratitude. He suggests that when individuals have a sense of agency, i.e. the ability to make choices and take meaningful actions in their lives, paired with a practice of gratitude for the positive aspects of their experiences, it can lead to increased levels of happiness and well-being.

Dr. Paul Conti; Image from Pacific Premir Group, PC

It struck me that this is basically the KonMari Method™! Marie Kondo encourages us to intentionally shape our own lives, make decisions that align with our values, and take control of our circumstances. This sense of control and autonomy can contribute to a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It isn’t just about decluttering – sure, we should only keep objects that spark joy, but this is all in pursuit of kurashi, or ideal lifestyle. Curating our homes can help curate the life we want to lead.

Marie Kondo; Photo courtesy of KonMari Media, Inc.

Additionally, practicing gratitude involves acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life (including objects, at least in Shintoism), even in the midst of challenges or difficulties. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude, or even mindfulness, can help individuals focus on what they have rather than what they lack, fostering a sense of contentment and happiness. I also love looking for glimmers, or small moments to appreciate.

Overall, Dr. Paul Conti's work, as well as Marie Kondo’s, emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between taking action to create the life you desire (agency) and recognizing and appreciating the good things that already exist in your life (gratitude). Both are key ingredients for experiencing happiness and well-being.