Limiting beliefs

I’ve been thinking about limiting beliefs recently. By “limiting belief,” I mean things that you believe, subconsciously or not, and that end up getting in the way of the life you want. This can happen on different scales and different topics, but let me use a few very recent examples from my life to illustrate.

I went to Fiji during spring break. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, essentially made possible by the confluence of different factors (major sale on plane tickets, low season which meant lower hotel prices, window of time when I could step away from responsibilities at home, not to mention bucket-list item). But even then, even as much as I was looking forward to it, I didn’t feel completely comfortable with the idea. The types of thoughts swirling in my mind were, “Do I deserve to go?” “People like me don’t go to Fiji.” “That’s crazy, that’s not the kind of trip I can go on.” And why? (Spoiler alert: I did go, and I had a wonderful time!)

Here’s another example from earlier this month. I live in San Antonio, where there is a SeaWorld park that offers dolphin interactions. Being in the water with, and touching, a dolphin has been a life-long dream of mine. And yet. And yet, I wasn’t booking the experience, because it just seemed like a crazy thing to do. Other people do this, but it’s too... what, fancy? out there? only rich people do that? only lucky people? My husband then gifted me the experience for my birthday. Honestly, considering that you don’t even have to buy tickets to the park for this (only tickets for the dolphin encounter, which is technically just outside the park), it’s really affordable! I had such a good time, too; it was everything I’d hoped for. This is something that was easily doable, right where I live, and still it took someone else to get me to do it. I’m grateful to my husband, but I really should have done it for myself years ago!

Then I went to see Brené Brown speak at Trinity University on April 16th. This event was open to the public, and free to boot, and still there was a little part of me that felt like it was too much for me. And again, it can be big things like “She’s one of the most sought-after speakers world-wide – do I even deserve to be in that room?” to little things like “What about parking?” and “I don’t usually go out in the evenings.” I know this is  pattern for me, so I just got a ticket and went. And obviously, I am super glad I did! Dr. Brown is an engaging speaker, and hearing her speak about leadership was inspirational.

Of course, having this hesitation can also be an issue before big life changes, like when we moved to Texas from Quebec. It seemed like such a big step that just the thought of it could have prevented us from moving, which would have meant turning down my husband’s dream job offer and, ultimately, living a very different life than we do today.

Those limiting beliefs will karate-chop you in the kneecap if you let them! Growing requires you to step out of your comfort zone. The truth is that I am the kind of person who loves to travel and have new experiences; even though I have certain limiting factors like budget and schedule and my own anxiety, when I can make it work, I will. That’s a much nicer story to tell myself, and it will serve me far better than staying at home.

The reason I’m bringing this up here is because I now recognize that thought pattern in some of my clients. Some people think they don’t deserve to have pretty bras neatly arranged in a drawer, or they feel like they’re not the kind of person who could have an organized home, or they’re just not worth the trouble of hiring a professional. And that’s not true! You have to believe that you’re worth it before it can happen, and trust me, it CAN happen! You also have to stop standing in your own way – have enough faith in yourself to step out of your comfort zone and make the changes necessary to lead your ideal life.